It’s The Gentleman’s Review’s fifth Christmas and what have they learned. Well, not much really, although Andy did discover that the best way to break Martin’s concentration during a song is to simply wave bits of paper at him. This may become useful in any future fights to the death. Besides that, it is a\u00a0relatively\u00a0sedate affair with\u00a0coffee\u00a0and pies\u00a0being\u00a0taken\u00a0orally every ten minutes. Listen out for Martin’s heart breaking, it sounds like a screaming jellyfish.<\/p>\n
Here are the words to the song, if you fancy singing along:<\/p>\n
On the first day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
A\u00a0third class\u00a0ticket\u00a0to\u00a0Barnsley.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the second day of Christmas\u00a0,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Two\u00a0midget poofs and a\u00a0third class\u00a0ticket\u00a0to\u00a0Barnsley.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the third day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Three\u00a0laughing perverts,\u00a0two midget\u00a0poofs\u00a0and\u00a0a\u00a0third class ticket to Barnsley.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the fourth day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Four\u00a0bloated\u00a0winkles,\u00a0three laughing perverts\u00a0,\u00a0two\u00a0midget poofs\u00a0and\u00a0a\u00a0third class ticket to Barnsley.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the fifth day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Five\u00a0burst\u00a0swans<\/b>,\u00a0four bloated\u00a0winkles, three laughing perverts , two midget poofs and a\u00a0third class ticket to Barnsley.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the sixth day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Six whelks a-singing,\u00a0\u00a0five\u00a0burst\u00a0swans<\/b>,\u00a0 four bloated\u00a0winkles, three laughing perverts , two midget poofs and a\u00a0third class ticket to Barnsley.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the seventh day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Seven\u00a0bums\u00a0a-poopin’, six whelks a-singing,\u00a0\u00a0five burst swans,<\/b>\u00a0 four bloated\u00a0winkles, three laughing perverts , two midget poofs and a\u00a0third class ticket to Barnsley.<\/p>\n
On the eighth\u00a0day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Eight\u00a0melted\u00a0children,\u00a0seven\u00a0bums\u00a0a-poopin’, six whelks a-singing,\u00a0\u00a0five burst swans<\/b>,\u00a0four bloated\u00a0winkles, three laughing perverts , two midget poofs and a\u00a0third class ticket to Barnsley.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the ninth day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Nine\u00a0noisy\u00a0parsnips, eight melted children, seven bums a-poopin’, six whelks a-singing,\u00a0 five burst swans<\/b>, four bloated\u00a0winkles, three laughing perverts , two midget poofs and a\u00a0third class ticket to Barnsley.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the tenth day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Ten\u00a0tits\u00a0a-bouncing,\u00a0\u00a0nine\u00a0noisy\u00a0parsnips, eight melted children, seven bums a-poopin’, six whelks a-singing,\u00a0 five burst swans<\/b>, four bloated\u00a0winkles, three laughing perverts , two midget poofs and a\u00a0third class ticket to Barnsley.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the eleventh day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Eleven\u00a0racist penguins,\u00a0\u00a0ten tits a-bouncing,\u00a0 nine noisy parsnips, eight melted children, seven bums a-poopin’, six whelks a-singing,\u00a0 five burst swans,<\/b> four bloated\u00a0winkles, three laughing perverts , two midget poofs and a\u00a0third class ticket to Barnsley.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the Twelfth day of Christmas,<\/p>\n
My true love gave to me:<\/p>\n
Twelve\u00a0Peter Sissons, eleven racist penguins,\u00a0 ten tits a-bouncing,\u00a0 nine noisy parsnips, eight melted children, seven bums a-poopin’, six whelks a-singing,\u00a0 five burst swans<\/b>, four bloated\u00a0winkles, three laughing perverts , two midget poofs and a\u00a0third class ticket to Barnsley.<\/p>\n
![\"Play\"](\"https:\/\/gents.martinwolfenden.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/powerpress\/play_audio.png\" "\\"Play\\"")
<\/a><\/div>\n